


all through the night

by hanabyulse



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, F/F, Family Fluff, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanabyulse/pseuds/hanabyulse
Summary: it's 1987. yongsun and moonbyul are best friends in college, and fall in love.only moonbyul has done this before.(initially posted on twitter as @hambyulie)
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	all through the night

The last box of her stuff was placed in the trunk of her minivan, the door closing with a harsh shut. This was it.

Yongsun stood against the doorframe of what used to be their home together and averted Moonbyul’s gaze. “Here are the keys. I…” There were no words that could be spoken, no right ones, anyway. “I wish you a happy life,” Moonbyul finally said with a sigh. From behind Yongsun, a pair of warm, adoring eyes were tearing up.

“Mummy, why do you have to go?” Their daughter’s small, soft voice, broke her heart. She crouched down to her height and gave her a weak smile. Her hand reached out for Eun-ae, and held it tight. “You can still come to see me, my love. In fact, you’ll be staying with me every Friday and Saturday.” The nine-year-old sniffled, as though she knew what the answer to her question was. 

Love was, as all things, difficult. It was hard to tell the series of changes, the shift in the emotions and feelings, like it was in the case of college best friends to lovers, Kim Yongsun and Moon Byulyi. It had been fun when they were children, eighteen or so years ago. It had been fun when they were children, but with Eun-ae growing, they couldn’t afford to act like that anymore. She couldn’t act like that anymore. At least, not according to Yongsun, it seemed. 

So, even in the middle of the rage of a storm, she had to go. She had to go, as far away as she possibly could from Yongsun, just like she wanted. It had pained Moonbyul to think that she wouldn’t be at arm’s length when Eun-ae would be hurt, when she would cry, or when Yongsun would crave the company she always did. It would just be her, alone. The dinners would be horrible if she cooked, or cold, if she had them delivered. She would have no one.

“Just call me when you get there. And on weekends.” Yongsun’s words held no love, held no care. She had none left for Moonbyul, who could never, who refused to mature even under her dominance. 

Clear to her that her former lover did not want to talk any longer, she stuffed her hands into her pockets and nodded. “I love you, my darling.” Whether it was for Eun-ae or Yongsun, she left to their discretion. 

The clouds up ahead formed like the clouds of her thought; the rain blurred the car windows as her tears blurred her vision. She couldn’t be crying; she had to face the music. She had thirteen years; nine, Eun-ae’s age, to grow up, yet she didn’t. Moonbyul blinked, and then there was a flash. She stepped on the brakes abruptly, catching her breath. 

Had it always been so sunny? Where had the rain gone? Strange, she thought. Maybe it was an unpredicted change in the weather. A hand brushed through her shortly-chopped blonde hair and she continued to drive to her new apartment. 

Drive… She was driving, but whose car was this? Why was it so small? With caution, Moonbyul took a quick look on the backseat of her vehicle. None of the boxes were there. It was only a small luggage bag.

“What the fuck?” Upon looking forward, she was right where she had been sixteen years ago; the first day of senior year, at the gates of Seoul National University. A familiar face appeared on her side, knocking on the glass window. Yongsun.

_ Yongsun. _

Only they were in college--she was in college. How?

She glanced at Yongsun with furrowed eyebrows; her hair was arranged in a row of differently colored butterfly clips and she was wearing a turtleneck and a plaid skirt. With that in mind, Moonbyul looked at what she was wearing and saw that what she had on had some obnoxious pattern on it. It was disgusting to think she used to dress so tackily before.

“I like your hair. You should’ve rang to tell me you got it cut,” spoke Yongsun once she rolled down the window. Moonbyul stared at her with her lips parted, and her then best friend laughed. “Are you going to let me in or am I going to have to walk all the way back to campus?” 

There it was; the glimmer in her eye that was long gone the last time she saw her. But that was just a few minutes ago, how could… how could she be here?

“Hey… Y-Yongsun. Yongsun. What’s the date?” Her knuckles turned white as she clenched the steering wheel with force. Yongsun gave her an eyeroll. “It’s a Monday.”

“Yeah smartass, it’s the first day of school.” Moonbyul snorted, resulting in a flick of her forehead from the senior. She moaned in pain, holding her head.

“September 14, 1987.” She held her breath. Did she just go through time? “Now, will you let me in, you little shit? I swear I will strangle you once I get in.” The attitude, Moonbyul started to wonder how she fell in love with the woman Yongsun was in college. She realized, though, quickly that this was the woman Yongsun would still be in 2003. 

“Then I don’t see why I should.” She teased, but Yongsun’s arm reached for her through the window. “Oh my god, I forgot how ferocious you used to be, just get in already!” Pleased with herself, her best friend walked around the car to the passenger seat and cozied into it. 

From the corner of her eye, Moonbyul watched as Yongsun fixed her lip gloss on the overhead mirror. It was easy to forget the two of them were easily some of the most popular students at the time, especially when nineteen years had passed since they were college freshmen. 

"Summer was hell, I swear. I wanted to grab so many cold drinks because of how hot it would get but—" Subconsciously, a habit that Yongsun would grow to have even by 2003, she rubbed her throat gently. 

"Your voice." That was the bit that Moonbyul fell in love with the most, she came to know in the future. Yongsun studied Vocal Music in college, she Psychology. It was hard to believe that she would be the very downfall of their years-long relationship when she had spent four years of her life studying human behavior. 

"Can you make me honey lemon tea at the dorm?" Moonbyul gave her a side-eye, she knew it was better to not resist Yongsun, that she would still end up having her way. But she was in college again. She was young—sixteen years younger. "Please, Byul-ah?" Her hand clung onto her free arm as they drove further into campus, into the dorms. 

With a sigh, she gave in. "Fine." Yongsun loved her fair share of lemon tea, of citrus tea, in fact. Moonbyul pinched the bridge of her nose at the thought that she wasn't able to make them anymore for her because it would've been morning by the times she came home. 

She and Yongsun weren't technically roommmates in college, but their rooms were across each other's in the hall. Moonbyul remembers being roomed with Ahn Hyejin, who was another vocal music student; Yongsun roomed with Jung Wheein, a social studies student. But more often than not, they stayed at the other room—Moonbyul and Yongsun together, Wheein and Hyejin. 

After fulfilling the promise of making Yongsun tea, Moonbyul returned to her lonesome dorm room with Hyejin gone. 

She immediately pulled out a notepad and tapped a pencil against her cheek. What had happened in 1987?

They were best friends from sophomore year and it was senior year now. Their first date, first kiss; she had to go through the trouble of doing it all over again. On the flipside, she was quite literally living through her memories. While there was no Eun-ae yet, there was them; Yongsun and Moonbyul against the world. That had to do for now. 

But how did she end up getting Yongsun? How did she manage to have the most attractive woman in SNU as her girlfriend? She wasn't easily swayed; Moonbyul knew as much, remembering all the flowers and chocolates that would remain untouched in her dorm room those years in college. 

She leaned against her wooden chair and sighed, scanning her brain for a memory. 

"Oh no!" She grumbled to herself, and grabbed her hair. What a dumb college kid she was. But if it worked on Yongsun the first time around, it had to work now. 

She tried to push away the thoughts of her plans while she sat in on the classes she already passed. Days stretched out into weeks, and she couldn't prolong it anymore, or she would lose this chance entirely.

Bundled up in a few autumn clothes, Moonbyul picked up her boombox and a cassette tape of her song choice. She was going to do it. She was doing the same thing she had done sixteen years ago. 

Moonbyul's cheeks burned with embarrassment; she couldn't possibly be doing this for a second time in her life. She tried to keep a straight face, her lips pursed as she stood still in front of the Vocal Music building of SNU, holding a boombox over her head that played Madonna's Crazy for You. 

The students flooding out of the building stared at her in fascination, in anticipation of who the Moon Byulyi could possibly be doing this for. If anyone was watching close enough for the past few years, they would've known. They would've known Moon Byulyi would only ever be attracted to Kim Yongsun. 

There she stood with her arms crossed, Yongsun watched. The music stopped after a minute of her eyes on Moonbyul.

"Kim Yongsun!" She shouted, trying to avoid eye contact. Her best friend sported a puzzled look on her face and pointed to herself. 

"Kim Yongsun, if you haven't noticed, I'm... I'm very much in love with you! I know you might only see me as your best friend, and that's totally fine. But, I never wanted anyone like this and I’m, well, crazy for you. All I ask from you is a date. One date; it doesn't even have to be a romantic one. Let's just go out. Just go out with me." This past was unpredictable, and she was uncertain if everything that had happened in her 1987 was happening in this one. But those were her very words sixteen years ago, and she still meant every single one. There had just been so many, too many regrets to come in the future. 

This was her chance to make things right, to relive the past and eliminate those regrets. Then maybe, maybe Eun-ae would grow up with two loving mothers that were there. And Yongsun wouldn't have to be kept awake at night, wondering where her lover was wandering off to. 

She looked around and exhaled. "I don't know, Byul." She was teasing, there was that smile that Moonbyul knew all too well. 

"Just one, it's just basically hanging out with me." It was trouble for her if it didn’t work out at all this time. She pleaded with desperation, clinging onto the boombox while she waited for a response.

Yongsun bit on her lip anxiously. She always cared too much of what other people thought, and it never mattered to Moonbyul. 

"Fine. Just one." It was the first of her many victories, Moonbyul had hoped. She just had to make it right. 

That night, the two of them slept in their own dorms after a long time of sleeping in the same bed. Moonbyul tossed and turned, it was her second first date with the only girl she had ever come to love—the same girl she came to lose. She didn't want to mess it up; she doubted she would, but oh God, what if she  _ did  _ mess up? 

Three sleepless nights passed. Saturday soon came dreadfully, and Moonbyul just put faith in the 1987 her. Not this 1987, but the first one. 

"So, you telling me where we're going?" Yongsun wore a cropped green vest, and scratched her nape. 

"Nope." Moonbyul popped her lips, starting her car with much excitement of where they'd be going. 

As they got closer to the venue, Yongsun sunk into her seat along with her heart. It was the local rollerskating rink. And she didn't know how to skate, yet that was exactly it. 

Moonbyul, sixteen years ago, thought of how she would get Yongsun close to her. And close they became after that night, with Yongsun being taught how to rollerskate by Moonbyul. 

"I wouldn't have said yes if this was where we were going," Yongsun spoke firmly and Moonbyul laughed. She knew that was true, which is why she didn't tell her, but it was necessary. 

"C'mon, I taught you how to ride a bike. Why should this be any different?" Beside her, the black-haired girl groaned yet still tied her shoelaces. With heavy and almost angry steps, she made her way to the rink. Moonbyul did it with so much grace and little effort, it made Yongsun want to retreat. But Yongsun wasn't known to retreat, she knew that. 

Her hand shook uneasily, holding Moonbyul's in fear that she would fall on her face or butt. "Just relax and stay balanced. You'll be fine then." 

Yongsun took a deep breath, yet was still unable to relax. She was starting to slip away from Moonbyul's hold, and she let her go, pulling a trick. Moonbyul jokingly skated away, making sure to not be too far. 

"Byul-ah.... Yah, Moonbyul! Moon Byulyi, don't let me go!" Yongsun shrieked, her arms slightly flailing at the loss of her rollerskating mentor. She circled around her, holding her arms out. 

"Geez, you're being so clingy for someone who hesitated to go out with me, Yong." Moonbyul flashed a cheeky smile at her as Yongsun's nails dug into the skin of her arms, desperate to have someone to hold onto in the middle of the rink. 

"You know... I get the feeling I've been in this moment before." Yongsun mused, she must've thought it was ridiculous. If only she knew it was very much true, Moonbyul chuckled. "It's called déjà vu—a French word."

"You can speak French to me anytime," she spoke suggestively. Even under the neon lights of the rink, she could see Yongsun blush while she slapped Moonbyul's forearm repeatedly. 

"Have you always been so flirty with me?" Yongsun disguised the butterflies with her signature eyeroll that Moonbyul had already learned to see through. 

"I have been for the entirety of college, but a good observation." Their faces were inches apart now, and there was no longer any tension brought upon by Yongsun's anxiety of skating. Her gaze flashed from Moonbyul's lips and to her eyes. 

It was December 4, 1987. It was exactly as their first first kiss was—magical, secretive, wonderful, also short. Short, because Yongsun had always been afraid of them; the eyes on them. 

"You know I want to kiss you more," she said when she pulled away. Moonbyul knew of course, the remnant of their kiss was still fresh—the strawberry flavor of Yongsun's lip gloss stained on her lips. Her thumbs drew circles on Yongsun's elbows and she nodded in understanding. 

She was doing it again. She was falling in love with her first love, her best friend, all over again. She could only hope Yongsun would fall in love with her, too, again. 

On the unstarted car, the two of them were smiling, looking ahead. Their hands touched, and there was a peace that Moonbyul had long yearned for. They kissed one more time, away from the prying, the judging eyes. They kissed two more times. Three more times. It was peace. 

Moonbyul couldn't remember the last time Yongsun had laid on her lap like this; the winter sun seeped through the windows of January, her fingers combing through her best friend's hair. The singer's eyes were closed; she was almost falling asleep at the mere comfort of the moment. 

She leaned down to place a soft kiss above Yongsun's lip, who opened them to speak. She held Moonbyul's cheek and smiled. 

"Play me a song, Byul-ah." She chuckled, it wasn't an uncommon request, only this time it was much more intimate. Yongsun herself reached for the guitar on the far end of the room and handed it to Moonbyul, expectant of a nice song. She was the singer of them two, the better one, she would always say, only to be playfully hit by her lover. 

"I know your eyes in the morning sun," Moonbyul sang softly, her gentle fingers strumming the strings. Her eyes stayed glued onto Yongsun's, who seemed to get the message. 

"I feel you touch me in the pouring rain." Hopping on the train of Moonbyul's thoughts, Yongsun gripped her thigh and she found herself smiling. It was this, then. It was the little things, like this, that she took for granted then. 

"And the moment that you wander far from me, I wanna feel you in my arms again." Yongsun was singing along now, carefully, to not overpower Moonbyul's deep voice. They looked at each other and then laughed. These days were so simple, they used to be so simple-minded then. 

"How deep is your love?" It was a question now, to Moonbyul. She held Yongsun's cheek in her hand and kissed her. In this space, in that silence, it was just them. The realization hit Moonbyul; it wasn’t only a chance to make up for her mistakes, but to fall in love with Yongsun all over again, and understand why she had to do the things necessary for their relationship in the years to come. 

"Be my girlfriend, Kim Yongsun. You make me fall in love with you everyday, and in turn, I promise to make you happy everyday. Please." Their foreheads were touching, with Moonbyul now talking in a whisper. A smile crept onto Yongsun’s lips and she nodded. It was a yes; the second time now. They plopped down on the easiness of Moonbyul’s dorm bed and stayed there. She wished so badly to freeze time then and there; she was able to travel through time, so why couldn’t she do that? It was easy to lose one’s self in the past, and Moonbyul didn’t want to make the same mistake of not acting like her age.  
  
Just like that, five months passed and it was nearly time for graduation. Moonbyul started to wonder if she would ever travel back to the future, or if she was destined to stay in this timeline. Eitherway, she was just glad--glad that she could spend moments like these with Yongsun. Right now, she was talking to a friend, Park Chorong. After looking at Moonbyul and smiling coyly, she rushed to stand beside her and held her arm.  
  
“It’s a photo,” she told Moonbyul under her breath and she merely nodded. “Care to kiss me for it?” This didn’t happen before, the first time. Moonbyul was seriously nervous for this kiss; she looked at all the graduates and their families.   
  
“But there’s so many people, Yong.”  
  
“I don’t care.” That was her girl. She couldn’t help but smile in excitement, and leaned in to kiss her. Yongsun held her cheek and pulled her in closer, then there was the flash of an instant camera. Another moment immortalized in a photograph. After Chorong handed them an undeveloped film picture, Yongsun wrapped her arms around her.  
  
She held on tight to her graduation cap, the other hand held Yongsun’s, who raced to greet her family. The girl quickly let go of her to hug her parents and her older sister.

“Mom, Dad. This is Moon Byulyi, the one I tell you about over the phone. She’s uh…” Yongsun’s eyes shifted towards Moonbyul, who stood stiffly in awkwardness, waiting for what Yongsun was going to say next. Two girls dating wasn’t exactly taken in warm acceptance in most cases. With a gulp, finally, she said, “My girlfriend.”    
  
On the ride back home, Moonbyul opened her yearbook to glance at her photo, and then Yongsun’s. She laughed at the words on the formerly blank page. “Most likely to never mature” was written by her girlfriend. She had written “Most likely to become a famous singer” on her’s, and she shook her head at the irony of the forthcoming truth.

  
It was 1990, two years after they graduated. August 1990, four months since she “proposed” to Yongsun. Though even in 2003, they still weren’t able to marry, neither of them seemed to care much about the formalities. They just wanted a proclamation of their love, and this was perfect. August 1990 and they were getting “married”, and it was perfect.   
  
She was dancing with Yongsun to a song she couldn’t care less about, in the middle of a small reception venue. “Do you think you’re ever going to regret marrying… eloping young?” Yongsun hummed in thought and firmly shook her head. Moonbyul chuckled at her honesty, unlike her, Yongsun wasn’t cursed with the knowledge that in some future, they’d break apart.   
  
“I don’t think it’s possible to ever regret anything with you.”    
  
“Can I say something that sounds absolutely insane?” Moonbyul bit on her lip. Yongsun only looked at her, waiting. “It’s crazy… but I’ve married you before.” Her now wife burst out into laughter. She saw that coming.    
  
“Really. I’m not going to say anything further, but you know I’m… I’m really happy,” she said as a confession--in relief. She was lucky, being given a rare chance like this. Yongsun placed a small kiss on her lips and smiled. “I’m happy too.”   
  
One year passed and then two. 1992, and Moonbyul paced around their room every night, kept awake by the thought of their daughter. She feared that they wouldn’t have Eun-ae in this one, and didn’t want to think of it as much as she really did. 

Morning came, and it was finally February. This had to be it. The telephone in their living room rang and Moonbyul practically scrambled on her feet to get it. “Moon residence.” It was going to be Yonghee, or at least she hoped it would be, instead of another telemarketing scam.    
  
“Oh, Moonbyul. Can I get Yongsun on the line? It’s kind of important.” She bit on her fingernails, not wanting to hand it over to Yongsun, knowing it would be about Eun-ae. Though she didn’t have a name at this point yet. As if on cue, from behind her, Yongsun asked who was on the other line.   
  
Dreadfully, she told her that it was her older sister. Upon giving her the telephone, she stood in anxious anticipation of what Yonghee was telling her.    
  
“Wait, are you sure? I mean, I would love to, but I have to.. I have to talk to Moonbyul first.” Her head was in scrambles listening to only one end of the conversation, wanting to confirm her suspicions. “Alright, okay. I’ll just ring you again once the decision’s been made.” Yongsun turned to look at her and pursed her lips.   
  
“They want us to raise a child.”   
  
Moonbyul felt like she would have fainted in pure happiness right then and there. She pretended to not be so excited about it; being able to grow up with Eun-ae, tuck her in bed, kiss her cheek. She pretended to not be so excited about seeing her daughter and being with her, at last.   
  
Years and years stretched on, with their small family growing. She was actually there in the morning to make her wife honey lemon tea, and to give their daughter breakfast, She wouldn’t have to watch her cry as she drove away. Moonbyul watched Yongsun as she made her way onto the path of fame for a second time, and was so proud. Meanwhile, she took care of Eun-ae and attended to her needs over those years. She was happy; there was peace, and she didn’t need another redo.    
  
It’s been another nineteen years. Yongsun will never know it, but Moonbyul is 38 years wiser. There were some sleepless nights where she would wonder if any of the first 1987 events were true or were simply a warning that she should learn when to mature and act her age. Her eyes glossed over the room, and then to the two girls that laid beside her. There was Eun-ae, even though she wasn’t their child, her cheeks resembled Yongsun’s so much, and she placed a gentle peck.    
  
Moonbyul stared at the sleep in Yongsun’s eyes, her perfect, flawless face. It was 2003, Eun-ae was nine, and they were still together. Soon, they would legally marry, she hoped. Soon, she won’t have to take another leap through time.

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
